Tuesday, January 20, 2009


And not the deep mental kind... The oh-my-god-I-just-looked-in-the-mirror-and-who-the-hell-is-that-whale kind.

Once again, this pregnancy is all in the hips. I look like Kim Kardashian. Except I'm not half as pretty. Or Armenian. Or rich. Okay, I guess I don't look anything like her except for the striking resemblance to our cottage cheese thighs.

Someone seems to keep forgetting to tell this baby of mine that she is running out of room. Every night at ten sharp, she has her pilates class, and morphs straight into yoga for a good hour or so. She spends this time distorting my sides and trying to shove various body parts through my cervix. One of these days I feel like a little hand is just going to poke right out my hoohah and wave at people. Its a really odd (not to mention PAINFUL) sensation.

We are down to the four week count! How crazy is that? It seems like I kept feeling like I had all the time in the world, and now all the sudden its gone! So poor hubby. Just when you thought it was safe to nap on the couch...it's Wifezilla!

"Can you pull out the bottom drawer of the stove?"


"I need to clean under it. It hasn't been done since we moved here."

Hubby is wondering what the hell the space under the oven has to do with the baby, but heaven forbid she should just magically be able to crawl under a less than one inch space and suffocate on dust bunnies. Him being the wonderful man he is doesn't even complain or point out to me that I even swept little dust piles under there myself when we didn't have a dust pan in a last ditch effort to hide them. Nope. He is a good sport and takes the drawer out.

"Hey hun! I found the medical tape you were looking for a couple months ago!"

So Circuit City as you have probably heard is done. They started liquidating the store immediately after announcing no one had come forward to purchase. My husband came home almost inconsolable that night, and all he said to me was, "Do you realize this is the only job I have ever had?".

Of course, the customers don't help. Suddenly there are four hundred people in the store, shoving shouting swearing- where the hell were these people six months ago when the company needed them?? All for a louzy 10% discount? Americans as a whole are a greedy greedy people. It was a real wake up call to walk in and see that. I made sure to announce extra loud how sick it made me that these so-called vultures were lying in wait.

Makes me proud to be an American sometimes, let me tell you.

Barack Obama is officially our president, and there is just one thing that keeps bugging me... They keep calling him our first African American president. That is not entirely true. He is only half AA. Call it like it is. Lets not start THIS presidency based on lies and false impressions, okay?

Hubby and I finally bought the last button and bow we needed for the baby. He was so fun to shop with- I let him pick out her take home outfit, and surprisingly we ended up with something very cute. It is a carters green and yellow striped fuzzy sleeper that says Duckie on it. I have renewed faith in that man!

Now I just have to vacuum under that damn stove and we will be all set!

Be ready for pictures in my next post. We should have our crib set up and everything ready to go.

I hope all of my readers are having a great inaugaration day!


Kristi Rufener

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