Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The 22 Day Lapse

What have I been doing?

I would like to spin you a tale of monsters and heros, but to be perfectly honest the most exciting thing to happen to me lately is that I found a $5 Starbucks gift card in my car.

That can't be enough to keep me occupied for the last 22 days, so what else has been going on? Well, I'm still pregnant, and man am I showing. Still having back problems, exacerbated by the fact that I have stumbed and almost fallen about, oh a hundred or so times. We hit our snowfall record this December a few days ago- and I mean the ALL TIME record- ever. The major league baseball record of stupid white cold mess.

My sister in law looks ready to burst, and by her account IS ready to burst. I have to be brutally honest here though, so in-law lovers look away:

I DO love my in-laws, but I swear to God, Allah, and Jesuit, (and to the other millions of Almighties I am leaving out) if one more person makes the "Jenny isn't going to make it much longer," comment, I might go postal.

She is only 31 weeks people, and if you constantly fill her poor head with that notion, she probably WON'T make it much longer. And lets face it, twins born before 32 weeks can have a lot of problems. WHY OH WHY THEN would you wish that on your daughter/sister/self? I myself (even though I can appreciate how uncomfortable she is, and I can't even begin to imagine having two of them)sincerely wants to see her make it to 36, which is considered full term for twins. For their sake of course.

Hubby is doing great, just had his latest escapade with a business called Primerica. I was okay with it at first, but when these people got pushy (i.e. wanted to look at OUR financial situation, and had Kev make calls to people he knows without having any formal training or licensing)I promptly told him to drop it. Unfortunately, Kevin left them his list of potential clients, and I am dreading that these people are going to pounce all over it.

Live and learn I guess.

I PROMISE to go more into detail when I have off this Thursday.

Merry Christmas to everyone that has stayed faithful to me, and here is to a fantastic new year!

Kristi Rufener

Monday, December 8, 2008

Fa-la-la-la-uck Winter.

Well it MUST BE December in Wisconsin, because only here can you get 1/4 an inch of ice, then nothing, then be on the phone on your way home and suddenly get lost (on a trip you have made almost daily for your entire life) because it is snowing so hard you can't see the painted lines on the road anymore.
Well great. Happy freaking holidays to the rest of my fellow Wisconsinites braving it out tonight like I am.
Our first biggest snow of the season is supposed to hit tonight however, so I made sure I had a back-up at work in case I don't show tomorrow. It's not looking too promising right now, but that is the other cool thing about Wisconsin- they can see this big snow storm is going to hit and then nothing, so we will see I guess.
I haven't updated in a while and for that I am a little upset with myself. So much has been going on lately, and I am starting to lose that nice bit of energy I gained during the second trimester. As I get bigger, I get less comfortable in bed, therefore getting less sleep and more and more irritable, as I am sure the people I work with every day could attest to.
I passed my glucose test with flying colors, which I will admit was a little shocking. I was expecting to fail just like I did with Bekah, but nope. I was way below the line. So I am glad that I am out of the woods, but at the same time I feel a little bad for one of my girlfriends who was recently diagnosed with GD and is dreading the finger poking and diet. So I may do a sympathy diet with her to give her a little pick me up.
Have to round up Christmas cards, but I am having a real issue getting into the so called holiday spirit. I H A T E this time of year. To me, the only good thing about snow is that it melts. Bleck.
Well, this is all I have time for at the moment as I am going to sneak off and sit in the bath tub and read my book.
AND IF we really do get a snow storm, Kevin will be gone, Bekah will be whiney, and I will be here tomorrow to post again.
So seasons greetings, and for God's sake, I hope your winter is going better than mine!

Kristi Rufener

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Hard Knocks

The last few days have been long for me. I ditched work at 9:30 on Monday and came home and slept slept slept. My hubby had to call and wake me up. Man did I feel like complete CRAP. It felt good to catch up on sleep and all, but then I was so stiff from sleeping that I waddled around like an old lady for the rest of the night. I have been having braxtons still, so I am going to talk to my doctor about them tonight... I feel kind of weird asking him to check my cervix though. It's silly, I know, it just feels funny being like, "Hey doc, would you mind cramming your fingers in my vajayjay? I feel like this kid is falling out."
Check please!
Nothing really new going on. Sent my lawyer an email this morning and she hasn't heard from Craig yet. Big shocker. If we have to go to court over this, it is going to run into real money. I am worried about that.
The only thing I am really stoked about right now is TWILIGHT COMES OUT FRIDAY! WOOHOOOOOO!!! I am obsessed right now!! Robert Pattinson is so HOT!


So THIS is why we haven't heard from Craig yet...

Wisconsin Circuit Court Access (WCCA)
Return to Case 2008CM001496
Printable Version (PDF)

State of Wisconsin vs. Craig R. Ransom

Winnebago County Case Number 2008CM001496

The Defendant was charged with the following offense:
Count No. Statute Cite Description Severity Offense Date Plea
1 943.01(1) Criminal Damage to Property Misd. A 07-20-2008 No Contest on 11-05-2008
On 11-05-2008 there was a finding of:
Action Court Official
Guilty Due to No Contest Plea Key, Barbara

On 11-05-2008 the following was ordered:
Sentence Time Begin Date Notes
Local Jail - Imposed and Stayed 60 Days consecutive with good time and huber.
Probation, Sent Imposed 1 Years
Condition Time Notes
Costs Bond applied, balance returned to surety.
Drug Treatment AODA assessment and followup.
Prohibitions No use or possession of controlled substances, unless prescribed by a physican. No possession of drug paraphernalia. No intoxicants.
Other Counseling, evaluations and assessments as appropriate and followup. Pay supervision fees as determined by the Department of Corrections. Defendant to Submit to Random Urinalysis. Defendant shall maintain absolute sobriety. Defendant shall comply with anger management assessment as deemed appropriate.
Alcohol assessment AODA assessment and followup.
Restitution Restitution to be determined by the District Attorney within 30 days, any objections to be filed within 10 days of notice of determination.

The Defendant was charged with the following offense:
Count No. Statute Cite Description Severity Offense Date Plea
2 947.01 Disorderly Conduct Misd. B 07-20-2008
On 11-05-2008 there was a finding of:
Action Court Official
Dismissed on Prosecutor's Motion Key, Barbara

Kristi Rufener

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Hey, I Felt That!

It would seem that I popped out overnight!
Last night at my moms, her friend just kept staring at me saying she couldn't believe the difference between Halloween and now. Its a cute belly though! A cute belly that gets me in trouble though... This morning at the drive thru I had just put out the window when I bumped the button with my belly and started pulling the window- and my customers arm- back in to the bank! Lucky for me, she laughed off the fact that she could be missing a limb. I'm glad SOME people have a sense of humor.
My mom felt the baby kick last night. It is getting to the point that I don't just feel kicks, I can feel when she rearranges herself to get more comfortable. I get amused when I point that out to my husband-
"Babe! I am one hundred percent sure that was just an elbow! Unless it was a foot..."
Instead of the giving tree this year, my mom and I corraborated and decided to "adopt" a family. The reason for this is that I have been increasingly disappointed in the items that are asked for on the giving tree. Can you believe I read a tag one year asking for XBOX 360 games??? Oh yeah, pretty sure that kid is hurting for toys come Christmas.
There is a lady I have come to know really well this past year at my job that I love to death. When I first started, her and her family were doing okay. She was excited because her husband finally had a prosthetic leg (he lost his on the job site for a landscaping company when a mower ran it over), and she was starting a new job. Well now their disability rights keep getting stomped on, and they aren't even looking at a court date until July of '09, and they are slowly slipping behind. I thought to myself, this is a family who REALLY knows what it is like to have nothing. Now I want them to feel like they have something.
Her and I have a lunch date tomorrow, and I am going to throw her a proposal HOPEFULLY without offending her, or making her feel crappy. I'm not going to tell her it is my own family that is adopting her, just that someone I know has taken a special interest and wants to make sure they have a real Christmas this year.
The season REALLY is about the giving to me- growing up my sister and I had everything we could ever ask for. Even now there is nothing that I personally want for myself for Christmas. I have everything I want and need. That being said, I honestly feel like the best thing I can do this year is just give back and not expect anything.
I am having a huge jewelry bash on December 6th to raise money for my daughters adoption. Kevin and I are looking at a lawyer tab of about $1500 after all is said and done- and that is just IF Bekah's biological dad does the right thing and signs the papers without a struggle.
Other than that, nothing else is happening in Kristi Rufener's neighborhood.
Sometimes I prefer if there is nothing going on. It could always be worse!

Kristi Rufener

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Facebook: The NEW Reality

I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who reads this faithfully, even if IT is to help you fall asleep. I really appreciate all the comments and support. Sometimes it's nice to know there are people listening, even if they are your deepest most private thoughts.

My mommy list phrase of the day is this:

"You will be amazed at what color cheetos turn a green microsuede couch- but even more impressed at how whenever you do laundry you can throw in three hundred socks and still only come up with two matching pairs. You will also be amazed that you don't hesitate to put a purple sock with a yellow on a school day."

I was home this morning for a better part of the day because my daughter wasn't feeling well. I took that time to have a real breakfast (pancakes and eggs with orange juice) and to clean the kitchen.

After she started feeling better, dad carted her off to school and I was home alone. Rachel called me up and told me she had finally received the pictures from her wedding, so I sat down to go through some of them. While I was checking pictures, I also started browsing Facebook, since I haven't been on there in ages... Literally since about August. I saw someone on I haven't talked to in a while, so I took the time to say hi. Not even thirty seconds into the conversation, I was bombarded with questions about Craig. Does he see his daughter, does his daughter call Kevin dad, et cetera. I finally got pissed enough that I just typed the truth:
Kevin IS Bekah's dad; in EVERY way that counts.
She quickly typed in that she had to go back to work.
I knew I didn't miss people that much... there is usually a reason I don't talk to someone for a long period of time.
I have been blamed for the situation from the beginning. It turns out Craig has been blaming the whole thing on me. I am the reason he hasn't seen his daughter, I am the reason he is a dead beat. PUH-leeeeeeze.
I am SO DAMN SICK AND TIRED of having to defend myself to people I shouldn't have to. There is nothing interesting that is happening to them, so they try to make drama for me? I'm not having it. In fact, I can't wait to see what sort of shit hits the fan when Craig gets his letter in the mail. I can't wait to see what kind of horrible mother I am for asking him to do the right thing.
So after thoroughly depressing myself on that STUPID website (and after having decided NOT to visit it again for another six months or so) I emailed my mom whining.
She gave it to me straight- something I LOVE about my mother.
She said:
Why are you mad? This is what your dad and I told you would happen. You ARE doing the right thing. Kevin is a wonderful father, you both are lucky to have him.

Why does it seem like it only takes one person to ruin a whole day for you?

Well, lucky for me, it usually only takes one person to fix it as well.

So lets hear it for moms today. Menders of broken hearts, kissers of scraped knees, and queens of the laundry piles.

There is no other word in the English language that carries as much meaning as the word Mother.

Kristi Rufener

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

And She Used the Word THREATEN!

My item to add to the mommy list is this today:

"You gag when other kids puke, but don't hesitate to catch it with both hands when you see your own child about to lose it in someone else's Escalade."

For any of you that don't know the situation between Rebekah's biological father and I, here is the dee ell:

Craig and I dated briefly in high school. He always made me laugh, and was always nice. His family was a little on the "poor" side, but I never thought much of it at the time. He has two little sisters named Angela and Bailey, and one older brother named David, who has a child of his own.

Here comes the part of the story that gets a little wild- during the time that we were dating, I was on the pill form of birth control. We used protection. I got pregnant.

My mom knew before I did; which, come to find out later in life, is actually NOT an uncommon thing. She begged me to consider other options such as abortion (no, I did not in any way just say that she WANTED me to have one, she just wanted me to think about it since I was only 16 at the time). She would tell me later that while I was sobbing on the kitchen counter that I told her I could never do that to "her".

My daughter was a four week old fetus at the time.

Telling my parents I was keeping my baby was the hardest thing I have EVER had to do. My parents sat down with Craig and I, and we discussed the whole thing, after which Craig himself tried to talk me into an abortion. I gave him the ultimate- it is MY body, and it is MY decision. I don't care who disagrees with that. I also told him if he wanted to leave that I could do it on my own.

Months went by, and I rode the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with pregnancy amplified by the fact that my dad wasn't speaking to me much, and that I felt like I wasn't really "allowed" to be excited about this baby I was carrying who kicked me for the first time at midnight on my birthday.

After Bekah was born, I was thrown into the most eye opening experience of my life; the Wisconsin court system. They bullied me into telling them who Bekah's father was since he didn't sign the birth certificate at the hospital. When I gave them the information and we went to court, Craig surprised me by demanding a paternity test. That was the point I lost ALL respect for him. I was with him 24/7 and he had the nerve to demand something like that? Once paternity was established (sorry, no Jenny Jones or Jerry Springer storyline here) they enforced child support and Craig demanded visitation. Up until that point he had only seen her a handful of times since she was born. And every time he would come see her, he would spend that time holding her and screaming at me. I spent so many nights awake worrying if she was old enough to pick up on the tension between us. I told the court that I was concerned about his instability and his anger issues, but they brushed me off and awarded him 4 hours of supervised visitation a week.

We haven't seen him since. Who won that war?

Fast forward two years and Kevin comes back into my life. Here is this "boy" barely out of high school who jumped into this relationship (to be fair, we have known each other our entire lives, and even "dated" back in junior high) with a two year old and picked up like nothing had ever happened. This was a guy who didn't even WANT kids, and now wants more of them!!

We were together for three years before we got married and will be celebrating our fourth year together this January.

Soon after we were married, Kevin started pushing to adopt Bekah. This I was nervous about, considering I didn't even know how to go about finding Craig since we hadn't seen or heard from him in over five years. Hubby was adamant though, and rightfully so. It turns out that even though we are married, since he is not legally her father he has no say in any medical issues that might come up with her. So I agreed to meet with a lawyer, which brings us to today.

We met with her last night- her name is Jessica, and she is actually a customer of mine at the bank I work at! She was very nice and reassuring. Our first step is to dictate a letter to Craig offering him an "out"; we will erase the back child support he owes, and relieve him of any future responsibilities if he signs over his rights. Otherwise, we are suing him for complete custody and higher payments INLCUDING his back child support. The word she used instead of suing was threaten though. I knew I liked her!

The only concern I have is that he could fight this and we could end up with a mess. I asked her flat out what his chances of seeing her are if he fights it, and it turns out they are pretty minimal. Even if he DOES fight it, there is no way he can afford a lawyer, AND he is an insulin dependant diabetic who doesn't even take care of himself.

I know how harsh I sound, but honestly I don't care. He had FIVE YEARS to try to pick up the pieces he spread around. And I am sick of the lies about how I stopped him from seeing her. So here is the truth once and for all:

He is a sorry excuse for a human being who no longer deserves to see her EVER again. He couldn't pick his own child out in a crowd. He wasn't there for her first step, first tooth, and he certainly didn't sit up with her all night when she was sick.

The total fee for this whole thing?

Child Support: $147 every two weeks.
Lawyer fees: $600-$1500
Knowing your daughter has a last name and a family she can be proud of?

Kristi Rufener

Monday, November 10, 2008

Lived and Learned... And Paragraphed!

Whew, people! I survived the weekend of blundering Wisconsin fools! The snow didn't stick, but damn was it COLD this morning!! When I think about how cold it is going to get, I also like to think about how for a good portion of it I will be toasty at home with my newborn! HA!
Speaking of babies, I have been thinking and perfecting my "mother knows best list".
For those of you that require a further explanation, let me spin it to you this way.
Do you remember every time you got mad at your parents in high school and said, "Man, I am NEVER going to make my kids do that!". It is sort of like that... Except this particular list is a list of things that I have learned from the first baby that I won't do with this baby, or things I have leaned along the way.
For instance:
1. I won't make the false assumption that if I hold her too long she will get spoiled.
2. There ARE more important things than having to do laundry on a day off, and it won't be the end of the world if my child has to wear the same socks two days in a row.
3. Organic? Please. She can puke just as easily on 1000 thread count egyptian cotton made in America with no chemicals added sheets than she can on plain old Carter's burp bibs. Just trust me on that one.
4. It really IS kind of cool that they can make formula smell like THAT.
5. So what if I don't shower for three days? If my 1 month old doesn't care, than neither do I. So sit somewhere else.
6. HECK YES if she pees her pants on purpose she can sit in them for a few minutes. There is a valuable lesson in pee pants!
7. The $60 outfit IS cute, but how cute is it with a poop stain up the back that you can't get out?
8. Contrary to "popular" belief, I am NOT a bad mother if I forget to wipe off the ketchup stain from her chicken nugget happy meal, don't change her diaper within five minutes of her soiling it, let her run around outside in her diaper in the sprinkler with her big sister, or let her shampoo her barbies hair.
9. I am also not a bad mother if I even buy her a chicken nugget happy meal, or plop her in front of the t.v. for an hour to nap.
10. She doesn't care if you spend $10 or $100 on her for her first birthday. In fact, she is going to like the box a million times more than the Baby Einstein brain stimiluating ulta comfortable bouncer.
11. There is nothing more important than saying I love you- even if you have to force it out between clenched teeth and a red face because you just caught her in the bathroom coating herself with the jar of vaseline.
12. Maybe the most important thing of all- TAKE PICTURES! Even if you find the baby cereal dumped out in the living room to make a swimming pool- it's not funny NOW, but I guarantee a half a year down the road you will have tears streaming out of your eyes you will be laughing so hard.
13. Hug often and cuddle constantly... before they are too big to.

That's what I have so far! I am thinking about adding one a day as a sort of Mommy Mantra. Tell me what you think.

I had an issue with my daughter this weekend- it seems my five year old has her first dilemma.
She hasn't been her usually bouncy self- she has been withdrawn and sullen. I finally had it with her last night and asked her WHAT on EARTH her problem was... and she started all out sobbing telling me she thought I would love Charlotte (the baby) more.
I tell you people, it broke my heart that my daughter would think that!! It made me realize how much talking we have been doing about the new baby, and sort of "neglecting" her. All she needed to do was talk about it, but to rid myself of my guilt I had to run out and buy a Baby Alive Learns To Potty.
After dropping a cool hundred bucks at Toys R Us, I came to this startling realization...
Man, does my five year old ever know how to play me.

Kristi Rufener

Friday, November 7, 2008

Do I HAVE to Edit the Swear Words???

Oh frick.
Frickidy frickidy frick.
It's snowing.
Snow, people. You know what snow is around here?? It is swirling cocaine that falls from the sky. I call it that because whenever it starts in Wisconsin, its like all the assholes out on the road get "high" and forget how to drive. EVERY YEAR. Without fail. I can set my watch to it. People who live here their entire lives and still forget how to drive in winter. Its like they see a flake and that activates the automatic swerving mechanism in their brains. OH SHIT OH SHIT! DODGE THE FRICKING SNOWFLAKES!
Are you KIDDING me?!?
Can I be outraged?? Damn right! It took my ten minutes to go four miles because the road is wet. It's not below 35 outside- so everything is melting, nothing is sticking, but grandma in front of me is going to have a heart attack before she gets to wherever the hell she is going. My guess is Florida. Fuck this snow, she is OUTTA here. Go granny go.
Hubby's parents are taking us out tonight for birthday dinner. I get to pick where we go. Woot. Honestly, I am feeling REALLY pouty today. Can't tell you why. My mom says its hormones. I told her the ground isn't frozen yet- I can still bury her.
I am a little jealous though, I will admit it... My OTHER sister in law's shower is the 29th of November, and she isn't due until the week after me... but me? I get my shower less than four weeks before I am due. That is a major downer to me. Now I am concerned and stressed about getting thank yous done and having gifts washed and put away. I am slow and lazy, and it is hard to keep up that image when I actually have to get in gear and DO stuff... trust me, doing stuff is overrated. Give me a bag of chips and set me in front of the tele during a House marathon.
Hugh Laurie....guuuuurgle....

Kristi Rufener

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Blizzard of Odd...

Want to hear something gross???

So yesterday I was sitting here and my coworker comes over and says he smells something funny by our fireplace. (This is a BRAND new bank, not even six months old building yet) and I go over and almost throw up it was so gross. I emailed our boss about it who came out and thought it was a drain downstairs and mentioned buying some bleach and pouring it in. Men sometimes. Here is my problem with that- my coworker found out which room the smell was coming from so I went down to investigate and when I opened the door to that room it was like a brick wall hit me- the stench was so bad! It smelled like sewage to me! When I went back upstairs and talked to my boss, I told him I didn't think it was a drain at all. I told him I thought it was the sewer pipes that ran through there. He didn't believe me, but he called the building designers and they came this morning. Turns out I was right- we had been smelling human waste ALL DAY yesterday! I am so grossed out right now.

Pour bleach on it...yeah right.

Dopes. :)

Our first snowfall is supposedly on its way. Our main branch is located in North Dakota, so I emailed one of my coworkers over there and asked her about it since it was supposed to hit there this morning. She said it was just starting to snow and they were predicted up to 9 inches. NINE INCHES PEOPLE!! It was just seventy degrees there yesterday!! What the hell is up with America anyway??

Two days ago we made history by electing our fist African American (well, okay, only HALF AA, half white) president. I only hope the assassination attempts stop. No joke intended.

And YES, I voted. But I want everyone who talked me into it to feel bad about it. I had to go on my birthday, the line was long, AND come to find out after I filled out the registration, that my name popped up on some list denying my right to vote!! It turned out to be something stupid, but it was all because of some elderly lady running the polls that didn't know what the heck she was doing. Volunteers are great and all, but can we train them a little first???

Finally have my thank you cards from the wedding in the mail, and if anyone complains about how long they took they can kiss my pregnant ass. I took the time to hand write over 200 of them. I know I am a little heavy on the language today, but I don't care. It's Thursday, and if you give a shit get off my blog, you know?

Hopefully shoveling out the apartment this week.

Write more later!!

Kristi Rufener

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Happy Bleeping Birthday!

To me.

Today I am 23! Even though my five year old told me I was thirty this morning. I love her anyway.

Just thinking that I need to have a Lia Sophia party this month before Christmas rolls around. Speaking of which:

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I hope that worked... If it DID it is supposed to be a Christmas ticker. If it didn't, well, I'm too lazy to come back and delete it for now.

Kevin's parents are celebrating their 35th anniversary this Sunday, so we got them a book all about the year they were married. It is really neat! A little on the pricey side, but worth it.

No special plans tonight- my dad is taking me to state street to get gyros, and then we are having cake at their house. I admit, the one thing I was hoping to get for my birthday is tickets to see the Transiberian Orchestra in Madison this year, since it is the last year they are playing and I just KNOW they are going to be awesome! I will have to wait and see. Other than that, there is nothing else I really want. Well, money I suppose, but who doesn't want that? Hubby even joked about getting married again just for the money. I promptly told him if I ever got married again it would be for money. And I wasn't talking about the gifts. HA! I bet he won't mention it again.

I already have two of the best presents this year- its the first time EVER that it is going to hit 70 degrees on my birthday, and the STUPID ELECTION is going to be OVER today!! You know what that means??? It means www.cafemom.com is going to be a LOT more quiet... They won't have candidates to bash on. Although, they will probably spend the next four years bitching about their candidate NOT winning.

Who am I voting for? Well, assuming I even get the chance to vote (on my way to work this morning there were considerable lines everywhere, and the polls didn't open for another hour yet), I am still keeping it a secret. I don't feel the need to have to explain myself to the general population concerning which person I am voting for and why. And I certainly don't look down on anyone else or think they are an idiot for choosing who they choose; I think they are an idiot for choosing someone because of WHY they are choosing them.

Do we even need to go into it?

Okay then.

Talk later!

Kristi Rufener

Friday, October 31, 2008

My Brag Post for the Day!

Okay so I am bragging a little... alright, a LOT!!
Can I just say that I LOVE ebay?!!! I just bought this crib set for $30! Nine pieces including the sheet, bumper, quilt, pillow, diaper stacker, toy holder, two window valances, and the skirt!! And to put it in perspective, this set retails for over $500 in the store! Its all brand new! So without further ado, I give you:

Hello, Kitty!

Happy Halloween, fellow bloggers hanging out there in cyberspace! While you were still sleeping this morning, I was up with my five year old. That's right. She is sick. Why is it that whenever your kids puke-dar comes on, they migrate to your bed to throw up? I never understood that, but I did the same thing to my parents. So, I scraped the sheets off the bed, sent my hubby to bed in the living room, got a bucket, and crawled back into bed to lay wide awake until 6:30 AM. Luckily, (and I use that term VERY loosely...) she only got sick one more time. By the time I drug my red rimmed eyes out of bed, she was ready to eat, drink, and watch Rattatouille. I just hope she feels good enough to go trick or treating by the time I get home. She has been looking forward to it for the past year, and this will be here last year to have all the attention forcused on only her, and not her and her little sister.

So I have my starbucks vanilla frappucino, and my computer, and we are zoning through the day so far. As long as I can make it to one, I will be okay! I am getting a new drivers license today (updated with married name and current address), and am also picking up a breast pump. Too much info? Too tired to care.

Looking forward to having an entire weekend off to be fat and lazy... Well, fat anyway. The laundry won't do itself!

Will it?

Kristi Rufener

Friday, October 24, 2008

The Little Things in Life

So here I am; it's quarter after eight in the morning. I feel miserable because of this ridiculous cold that I have, and I am worrying about money (like I always do), and I log onto www.cnn.com to check the news, and I find this absolutely AMAZING article about this woman who's 56 year old mother carried her triplets, and recently gave birth to them. Read it for yourself, and I encourage you to visit their blog and send them your well wishes!

56-Year-Old Gives Birth To Triplet Granddaughters
POSTED: 8:52 pm EDT October 23, 2008
UPDATED: 11:15 pm EDT October 23, 2008

CLEVELAND -- A 56-year-old woman acting as her daughter's surrogate gave birth to her triplet granddaughters at a Cleveland-area hospital earlier this month.
Jaci Dalenberg gave birth to Elizabeth, Gabriella and Carmina by C-section on Oct. 11 at Hillcrest Hospital.

The babies' parents are Kim and Joe Coseno.

Learn more about the Coseno triplets at the family's blog.

I had a chance to read their entire blog this morning, and it honestly had me riveted! It was so easy to get wrapped up in this story, the way this momma writes about her babies (including her NOT so little ones!). I wish her nothing but the best!

Rachel and Michael come into town tonight, and we will be going downtown for dinner. Something deep fat fried in lard- yum yum! My birthday is next week already, I can't believe it. It's sort of funny- after you hit the 21 year mark, you just don't care as much anymore!

I am really starting to pop out now, I should post pictures... But there always seems to be a zillion other things I should be doing instead, and the thought escapes me. Poor Jenny though- whenever I see my sister in law, I force her to take pictures with me. She is the one expecting twins, and she looks like she is farther along than I am! I'm sure she doesn't mind TOO much when I make her do this, however, since she requested them the day after they were taken, and put them up on her myspace account! (Yes, I feel horrible for her..)

The road rally is just two days away!! I can't wait! Rachel emailed me last night to tell me the t-shirts she made look awesome! We call ourselves Car Pacman- don't ask. So she had to make t-shirts to commemorate the occasion. And hey, everyone knows I will do anything for attention, so I go along with it!

Tomorrow, hubby and I will be 23 weeks along. Exactly one more week, and little Charlotte will be viable outside the womb- she will be a real baby!

Last night, she had the hiccups, so I grabbed Kev's hand and he could feel them. He compared it to a heart beat- it is a steady sensation. It seems like she gets hiccups a LOT! Just the other morning around four, she had me awake until almost six because of her moving! It seems like she gets frustrated with those hiccups, so she thrashes around. It probably would be amusing if it weren't so early and I wasn't so exhausted.

Well, it looks like the sun is finally coming up now, so I should probably get ambitious.

Update soon!

Kristi Rufener

Thursday, October 23, 2008

No, Corn Does NOT Go Up The Nose...

So my mom called me a couple days ago while I was at work, and told me my daughter had a story to tell me.

"Hello mama."

"Hi Beena. What's up?"

"Well, today during rest period, Drew and I found a piece of Indian corn and we were playing with it and I stuck it up my nose-"

I stopped with my water bottle half way to my mouth in shock.

"And I told my teacher and she made me go to the office RIGHT AWAY and Betty made me blow my nose in a kleenex and it came right out, so I didn't even have to go to the hospital."

I was laughing hysterically by now, and could hear my daughter yelling to my mom in the background, "Why is mom laughing??". She sounded genuinely upset at my reaction.

"We won't do that again," My mom assured me. Right. She is five, shouldn't she have hit this sticking of things into the holes in my face stage at like, two or three?

On my posts today, we are discussing God. Since I have a cold right now, I am in no state of mind to take on the Almighty rationally, so I posted a response to the bible instead:

Lisa Simpson proved it on the Simpsons one time...

Seriously though- the only problem I have with religion is the bible. First of all, there isn't ONE religion, or ONE bible. And the bible was written by MAN. Now we all know that MAN isn't perfect, nor can he be trusted 100%. WHY? Simply because he isn't God. God is the only perfect "being", if you are religious. So how can we believe the bible 100%? I am not saying that SOME things in the bible aren't true, but man in general has a tendency to exaggerate, especially in the face of something as awesome as "God". So as far as the bible is concerned, it's not something I put a lot of faith into. That's just my opinion.

And that's about all the thinking I can handle for one day with my head so congested.

It's almost Friday though, people. Woohoo.

Kristi Rufener

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

To Whom It May Concern...

Dear Idiot,

I'm not sure which one of us "boneheads" you were referring to in your not so pleasant letter you sent in with your loan payment yesterday, but here are some tips from this "bonehead" in particular:

When we called to inform you of our new address, you COULD have been polite and REQUESTED new envelopes with our new address on them- instead, you decided to send us an example of our old address printed on an old envelope, circled, with a list of vulgar and completely uncalled for names directed at me and my fellow employees. Even though after you took all the time to write that note and point out our obvious "mistake", you ended up hand writing our address on a different envelope to send to us. Wow, what a fuck you to me.

Which brings me to my next point- with all the obvious time you wasted in writing that oh-so-witty reply, you could have hand written at least fourty envelopes with our new address. Keeping that logic in mind, I have so nicely decided to NOT send you new envelopes with our updated address on them. I figure if you have so much damn time on your hands, you can write them yourself.

If you have any other problems besides your noticeably screwed up head, you are going to have to find someone else to put up with your shit, because its not going to be this lady.


Kristi Rufener

Monday, October 20, 2008

Free Birthing, and Ignorance

For many of you that have seen the previews for the new show Free Birthing on DHC, I am encouraged that we have hit a turning point in our society.

That is, until I saw some of the message boards I am a part of on www.cafemom.com. Someone posted a rant about how stupid they are, and how they are a step backwards, and how your homes can be dirty and that sort of thing. So me, being the hormonal wonder I am, wrote this in response:

First off, I would like to say that I think it is incredibly ignorant for someone to say that Free Birthing or Home Birthing is a "step backwards" in the medical world. For God's sake, why didn't everyone die then? What did we ever do without hospitals and the MIRACLE of drugs?? If I had the option, I would 100% have a homebirth..unfortunately, with us living in an apartment that is sort of out of the question.
For all of the other women on here who have said they wouldn't do it because of medical reasons (preeclampsia, prior c-section, etc.) well no kidding. Free birthing and home birthing are not for women who have had or might have complications. It is a choice for a mother who has had a complication free pregnancy.
You have just as much a chance of something unexpected happening at home as you do in a hospital.
And one more thing, for the woman who said you shouldn't deliver at home because it could be dirty- are you really going to believe that you don't catch stuff at hospitals??? Where do you think the majority of MRSA cases come from?
Educate, THEN relate.

And then I was met with applause.

We took Haley and Beeps to Eugsters this last Saturday, and our twenty minute trip ended up taking about three hours due to an accident involving a motocylce and truck. When we came upon the wreck, I knew there was no way that poor guy could have survived. I was right. He was in the news two nights ago. Apparently the truck failed to stop at a stop sign, and plowed into this guy. Yuck.

The girls had a blast, and Haley spent the night and didn't want to leave the next morning!! She is such a sweet heart. Kevin remarked how good she is, and I of course said, "Every kid is good when they aren't around their parents!!".

Getting fatter, and enjoying my new diet that does not include Big Mac's from McDonalds. Damn it. I am going to eat Big Mac's until I puke after this baby is born!

Road rally is next weekend, and hubby and I are both looking forward to that!

Also, there are several people interested in my Pontiac, so hopefully we will get that sold and be ready to go for the winter.

And that's all I know for now!

More soon.

Kristi Rufener

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

On Life.

Took half the day off at work yesterday. I needed it. There is so much stress I am worrying myself into a state. That makes me have Braxton Hicks, which are stressful all by themselves.
I typed out a whole blog about what my weekend was like, and when I went to copy it so that it wouldn't delete it, it suddenly disappeared... I was livid to the point that I didn't bother to retype it.

My friend is about ready to pop. She is due pretty much any day now, so I am just waiting for my phone call. Her dad had a school-wide event yesterday where he cut all of his hair off for Locks of Love. All nineteen inches of it! My daughter told me all about it when I picked her up yesterday.

My grandma is home and doing fine. She had to see the doctor yesterday, and they took out her catheter, so at least she doesn't have that to worry about. She is going to stay at my mom's for a while yet, though I am not sure how long.

Hubby and I are doing well. I hate that I am constantly busy, and that we never seem to have enough money. Living paycheck to paycheck is not ideal. We will be caught up eventually, it's just the thought of waiting to be caught up that gets to me.

Speaking of cell phones, I have had it up to here with mine. This oh so wonderful Razor that everyone recommended? Right. Stupid battery won't stay charged. Calls are going straight to voice mail instead of ringing. And the damned thing is so slim, I can't hold it with my shoulder so that I can have two hands free!

Hubby and I went shopping on Sunday and picked up some super cute little outfits for the baby. He was feeling down because I hadn't gone shopping with him. We hit Kohl's, and found a lot of great stuff! We didn't pay over four dollars for anything we bought.

It was also my g-mas seventy third birthday on Sunday, so we had to stop at the Gritty (The Nitty Gritty Birthday Place, it's a Madison, WI thing...) and get her her birthday mug. Bekah also picked her out some hot pink socks with black spider webs on them. G-ma loved them. Sandee and Bill also came to mom's to celebrate, and I got to see the quilt Sandee is making me as a wedding present. It is gorgeous!! I have this certain feeling of pride when I see it, because I picked out the fabrics myself, and they go together perfectly.

Saturday Whitney and I hung out with Ephraim and Bekah. We went to China Buffet for lunch- I could eat there every day. Then we took the kids to Burlington and my Beeps (that's Bekah) helped me pick out some stuff for her baby sister. She is getting so excited!! Just last night she kissed my belly and told her baby sister good night. I hope she stays this positive even after Charlotte is born.

I am now at 21 weeks and 3 days. I get my glucose test (my FAVORITE test ever!! *see "dripping sarcasm" in the dictionary) and I am pretty much predicting they are going to send me in for the more extensive three hour test. My doctor is sweet, but he is kind of a ding dong. Oh well, no one is perfect!

If we weren't tight on money, everything would be so perfect right now. But there I was, at four in the morning, wide awake because I was thinking about a credit card I have. The worst part is that I have the money to make the payments, so I'm not even sure why I am worrying about it!

Will update again tomorrow!

Kristi M. Rufener

Monday, October 13, 2008

Needa Longer Weekend..

Okay, I just typed a really long blog here and it deleted the entire thing, so when I am done being fucking pissed, maybe I will try to type it again.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

The Great Abortion Debate

So with all of the attention Sarah Palin is getting during this election (that seems to be dragging on for eternity) I would like to put my two cents in about her outlawing abortion.

The following is a discussion I had online in a motherhood community:

Quoting kristichristen:

To the person who claimed a fetus the size of a dot is a baby- be realistic.
A baby should be called a baby when it is viable outside the womb. Period. Until then, it is a fetus.
I would much rather some fourteen year old get an abortion than hear about her microwaving her kid a year down the road.
Thanks anyway.

Quoting monkeysmom21006:
Sorry, but when you were found out you were pregnant, did you refer to it as a "fetus" or a "baby"? Just wondering. I know from the second I found out I was pregnant with both pregnancies (my first at 5 weeks my second at 3 weeks 1 day) those were my BABIES. I do however agree that I would rather a girl get an abortion rather than harm the baby later in a cruel/ disgusting way. But then again, how do you KNOW she'll act like that? I got pregnant at 15, had my son at 16 and never had even a HINT of thought of doing something like that.


I referred to it as "being pregnant". Whenever I refer to the "baby" I say she- because it is a girl. She is not viable outside the womb yet, and I know that. A speck is not a baby. There is no heartbeat until around 6-8 weeks, and there is no telling if there could be anything wrong with the fetus. To put a young girl through the trauma of forcing her to look at an ultrasoun is horrible. If she makes an adult decision to say, Hey, I can't take care of this baby when its born, so she decides to abort, I don't see anything wrong with that. Lets say she sees this ultrasound and is "talked into" keeping this baby. What if they find birth defects that she REALLY can't deal with? What if her family finds out she's pregnant and kicks her out, or beats her? It is a lot of what if scenarios.I DON'T agree with using abortion as a form of birth control, but I DO believe that YOU can't tell another person what to do with their life. I had my first daughter when I was 17, and wouldn't have chosed abortion for myself. Then again, I was VERY lucky to have the amazing support system I have.I am not naive enough to think that EVERY situation of abortion should be stopped. I can only make a clear decision for myself.

I am kristichristen in case you hadn't guessed.

Kristi M. Rufener

Thursday, October 9, 2008

A Little Set Back...

***I forgot to post about our ultrasound on Tuesday!! Hubby and I invited his mom to come with, and she met us there. When we got in, I mentioned to the tech that the last time we had an ultrasound, they couldn't tell us for sure if it was a boy or girl, so I asked her to check again. We weren't three seconds into that ultrasound when she said, "Oh, it's definitely a girl." She pointed out the little parts, and all I could think was, "Well, she's not so shy anymore!". So Charlotte Olivia Dale is feisty. She kicked the tech twice! It was really funny to see her little feet swooping around and feel it at the same time. Now hubby and I are in a sort of frantic overdrive... and you thought nesting was for the women! Ha!***

So last night I had to close at work. To get you up to speed, I am the lead teller at a financial insitution. We have a policy that states two people (One of them a supervisor- me) have to be in the branch at all times. Like I was saying, it was my night to close, so here I was with Chris, one of our tellers that recently quit and decided to stay on the rest of the month part time.
I had just gotten out of a sexual harassment meeting (Now I am really good at it! lol) and I noticed that I was having contractions. Just Braxton Hicks, nothing painful- just uncomfortable. At first I was a little surprised, being only 20 and a half weeks along I thought it was too early to feel them... But apparently its pretty common to feel them this early with your second baby.
I put up a post on Cafemom to ask other moms if they experienced this, and got a lot of reasurring feedback, until I had had more than ten of them in an hour. So I called my doctor- not to be a Debbie Downer, but I'm not sure how I feel about my doctor yet... He is kind of spacey, and inexperienced. He couldn't remember my name, couldn't get logged into his computer, and couldn't even tell me what I should do. So there was a pointless ten minutes of my life I can never get back. *Sigh*
Luckily, when I got to my mom's house and had a chance to sit down and put my feet up they subsided, and the baby started moving around which made me feel better.
But then I started thinking two things:
I hope this isn't a preview of how the rest of the pregnancy is going to go. Not that I am complaining, but if I get a lot of episodes like that, it is going to be exhausting. Even Braxton Hicks contractions take a bit out of you.
And I am starting to wonder if it is safe for me to close at work anymore... What if I had an emergency?? I couldn't leave if I was one of the only two people here.
My biggest problem right now is that I don't want my boss to think I am skirting my responsibility, or that I am incompetent now that I am pregnant. I keep trying to do as much as I did around here before I was pregnant, but I just don't think I can handle it. And then I stress myself out, which isn't good for me, the baby, or anyone else around me that has to deal with me on a daily basis.
I guess for right now I will take it one day at a time, and when we get someone hired in here to take Chris's place it shouldn't be so bad.
Keep your fingers crossed.

Kristi M. Rufener

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Today today!


The last couple of weeks have been exhausting. Between covering for FOUR different people at my job, I have run myself down. The funny thing is, I am not sleeping well, even though you would think I would be considering how busy I have been.

The baby is moving constantly! She seems to like kicking me in the bladder. It is the most weird feeling in the world. I'm not sure how to even describe it! It is sort of like having a UTI; with that weird throbbing feeling you have afterwards... It's not very pleasant, at any rate.

My friend M.E. is due in a few short weeks. She is such a pretty pregnant woman! I just look like a fat dude. We are planning on going shopping some time this week for baby stuff. I feel motivated to do that, even though I don't really have the money and I shouldn't buy too much, since my hubby's family has baby fever and will probably be buying us stuff anyway.

On a side note, feeling like I am overwhelmed with bills and I am not even sure why. I haven't had a problem paying them. I think I am just freaking out about maternity leave, and not getting paid for that...

My SIL has been trying to get pregnant for over a year now, and had two miscarriages. It was devastating. So when I found out I was pregnant, I was really hesitant to tell her.. I love her to death and I didn't want her to feel like I was spiting her. My hubby ended up telling her the news, and not even a week after that we got a call from her telling us she was pregnant too..with twins!!

She is due five days after me, though I am sure she will go sooner. For a while after finding out, I was worried I was going to steal her thunder as well, but that hasn't been it at all.. There is so much love to go around, and it has been so fun having someone pregnant the same time as me! I have someone to talk to who knows what I am going through... Times two!

Have a doctor appointment tomorrow at 3, I will update around that time. For now, I am salivating thinking about the supper my mom is cooking tonight. That's right. My mom. I am not ashamed to admit I will take a free meal anytime! Especially if it means I don't have to cook.

Kristi M. Rufener

Monday, October 6, 2008

Apartment-ally Certified.

So much for my dedication to this blog- wanting to write in it once every day hasn't worked out... and it is only the fourth day!! Ha!

I spent the weekend with my best friend Rachel, who decided to make the three hour trip at the last minute due to her hubby being on a fishing trip. Needless to say, this weekend went by in a blur of stupid giggling, guitar hero playing, Olive Garden eating frenzy.

Honestly, she is my woman soul mate! Who else could I just completely be myself with and they would laugh at me like everything I say is hysterical... Even when it's not.

So when I finally let her drag herself out of my apartment early Sunday afternoon, I am sure she was ready for a nap when she got home. No luck. She called me three hours later to tell me Michael had not only come and gone already, but had made dinner plans for the two of them. Poor girl!

Hubby and I got got ambitious and started rearranging the apartment to squeeze another little one in. We completely switched the living room and our bedroom around, and I gagged over how black the white windows were as I doused them in Windex. Also noted was that there appears to be a completely other apartment complex right behind us! And who would have thought windows were for looking out of... Ha!

So I fell into bed last night thinking, "Man, I am going to sleep like a rock! I have done nothing but work today!". Alas, it was all to no avail. As soon as I lay down, baby Rufener had a field day in utero. I have no idea what was so damned exciting, but I swear that 6.5" baby felt like a pissed off linebacker. Then hubby felt the need to have a conversation. Which wouldn't have been a huge deal except he would only ask me a question every ten minutes or so. Finally told him to shut up. When I DID finally fall asleep, I would wake up every couple of hours... I honestly think it may have something to do with switching sides of the bed with him so that I could get used to sleeping next to a baby, who will be co-sleeping in a bassinet. So do you think I am going to admit that I might be losing sleep because I am too hard-headed to admit that switching sides was a stupid idea in the first place??? Hell no. I am going to suck it up until I am too exhausted to care what side of the bed I am sleeping on.

Why oh why do humans have to be stupid creatures of habit???

On a side note, grandma is still in the hospital. They are waiting for her bladder to start working, as I guess she can't pee without a catheter in. I could tell she was feeling better today though; when I called my mom to ask about her, she was strong enough to yell something about charging her for every damn thing.

That's my girl.

Until tomorrow,

Kristi M. Rufener

Thursday, October 2, 2008


This is my first blog, so be patient with me... or go somewhere else!

My husband and I were married on July 26th of this year (2008), and I was already four weeks pregnant. This will be my second child, and his first. My firstborn, Rebekah, came into this world when I was only 17 years old; a junior in high school. Without the support of my family, I never would have been the mother I am today. Now she is 5 and in kindergarten, and continues to make me proud EVERY day!

I have known my husband almost my entire life- we have been through it all! I firmly believe that nothing will come in between us. He is such a wonderful person, provider, and father, who can't wait for his baby to get here!

Last night he felt the baby kick for the first time, and I am only 19 weeks and 5 days! It was the most comical thing- he was frowning in concentration, and suddenly his eyes flew WIDE open! I must have laughed for five minutes.

If you haven't already guessed by the title, this blog is going to be about a year in my life. I will try to blog every day, even if there isn't much to say; all the way through the birth of this child to whatever else comes my way in the next 365 days.

To bring you up to speed, in an hour my grandma will be wheeled into surgery to remove her left kidney. She has cancer, but they expect that it will be completely removed. In the last year, she has had a TIA (a mini stroke), and a serious heart attack. The year my daughter was born, she lost her husband (I was very close with my grandpa) to a heart attack. It just so happened that my mom was with her when she had hers, or she wouldn't be here today.

I will update the blog when my mom calls me to let me know how the surgery went, though I don't expect I will know until around 6 tonight or so.

As for everything else, I will throw in bits and pieces as they come. Sometimes my ordinary life is a lot more interesting than anything I could make up on my own!

Talk to you soon.

Kristi Rufener


Grandma is out of surgery and it went well. The only part the doctor was concerned about was during the closing of the urethra they had to get close to her stomach anuersym, but there were no complications. Pending how she is feeling tomorrow, I will go up to the hospital after work to visit. We will see I guess!