Diagnosis Unknown

My mom says, "Take a deep breath, and don't worry until you have to."

Which is always easier said than done when it comes to your children.

This Friday I noticed that Charlie wasn't moving her legs.

And I don't mean a kick here and there, I mean wasn't moving them at all.

She has adopted the frog pose, as I call it, where she lays on her back and her legs are bent at the knee and hang out to the side. When I pick her up they are completely limp. I know she has feeling, because I tickle her feet and they twitch.

She also no longer tries to prop her head up when she is on her tummy.

As the weekend wore on, it annoyed me more and more and I tried putting her in the jumperoo, and tried coaxing her into standing up. Nothing. They just hang there like two limp doll legs.

So I called the clinic this morning and they set an appointment for her this afternoon.

But not before the nurse called me and ran down the symptoms and then was completely startled. She told me that none of this can be explained by her being simply lazy or too heavy to pick her head up.

In fact, the word she used was serious. This sounds serious.

And now Kevin is bawling, and I am a mess at work, my stomach hurts.

Where are the days when all I worried about was the weekend?

I want to go back a month and have my happy, strong baby back.

I cannot handle this. Not now.

Maybe not ever.

...What am I going to do?