Monday, May 11, 2009

The Mommy In Me - Your Inner Ohm

SO- I am going to start out by saying a happy belated Mother's Day to the following people:

To Julie in AL- Thanks for being there throughout my pregnancy, and giving me bitching space. You may be 700 miles away, but I cherish our momship and can't wait to finally meet you in person.

To Kari in my complex- Because sometimes you need someone that sees how crazy your in-laws can be... and your OWN family too!

To my grandma Shirley- I can't imagine life without the farm.

To my grandma Sylvia- No one will ever love you like your grandchildren will.

To my aunt Donna- Because being a stepmom requires more patience and understanding than a biological mother. Because you are family. You know you can relate when people tell stories about their children, so keep fighting the good fight!

To my best friend Rachel- Because you are already a mom to so many that it is just going to be second nature to you!

To Momofonefornow- Because at the end of the day, it's all about the Bean.

And to all the other mothers out there- Because no one will ever mean more to you than the one you tuck in (or USED to tuck in) who face you used to clean with spit, who's butt you used to wipe, and who used to want to kiss you the most after an ice cream cone that seemed to cover an impossible amount of face.

And lastly, to my own mother, here is a tribute to you:

So last weekend was Mother's Day, and in honor of that here is the gift I gave my mom...

It’s eight o’clock. I have read every mothers day card on the shelf.

There are the funny ones, the charming ones, the ones with long heart-felt poems, even scratch and sniff. There aren’t any, however, that say what I am looking for.

What can you really say to a woman who is not only my mother, but a mother to 300 kids every day?

My mom is not a typical mom. I don’t have memories of the PTA mother; the one who helps with all the fundraisers, wear’s the cable knit sweaters, and is a svelte size 4.

Before you judge her on that, let me tell you what I DO remember-

I remember my mom making me laugh. I remember her teaching me how to ride a motorcycle, how to stand up for what I believe in, and how to drink Jack Daniel’s out of the bottle. She also patiently adopted every animal Carla and I brought into the house. But most of all, I remember her always being on my side when someone broke my heart, and asking me who she needed to go beat up. And who wants to hug a size 4 anyway? I would take my mom over that any day.

I can’t even tell you how many people buzzed into that Wal-mart while I was browsing, selected their card, and left. While that might be enough for most people, there wasn’t anything that said what I needed to say. There was no card to say Thank You for her most important job.

It wasn’t Thank You for being my mom. It wasn’t I Love You for being my mom. And there was no way in hell she would fall for some two page poem about how leaves change colors in the fall, but you’ll never stop being my mom blah blah blah, you get it.

What I needed to say was Thank You for being there to support me on the most important day of my life. The day I became a mom.

Being 16 and pregnant is not every mom’s dream. I am sure I can almost conjure up how she felt the day I crushed her dreams of me going to college and doing everything she didn’t get to do.

And rather than giving up on me, she was right there to hold my hand when my own daughter came into this world with her huge blue eyes. And, let’s face it; it was love at first sight.
Life is a funny, fickle thing, and ours is much like a roller coaster. Once you get on, you realize you can’t get off half way up that insanely intimidating hill. So you hang on for dear life, and if you get lucky like I did, you come to find out that you love the ride and you jump back in line at the end to do it all over again.

So for lack of words in the English language, thank you for teaching me to be the mom I am today. Thanks for all those nights you sat up with me at three in the morning to calm a cranky baby. Thanks for teaching me the best way to burp her, the best way to talk to her, and the best way to handle an owie. Which, by the way, is most definitely NOT screaming and running to pick her up, and trying to remember the number for the on call nurse.

When I look at her I am starting to understand how my being a mother is not just a product of myself; it is more of a group effort. Every moment I have been proud of her thus far can most certainly be attributed to you. Although there are times she talks back to me and I think, my my, you sound an awful lot like your Grandma Pam.

There will be days when it will be hard and I will want to give up. When that does happen, all I have to remember is that you never gave up on me. And while saying Thanks doesn’t have the meaning I really intend it to, I hope that by being the best mom I know how to will show you what I mean.

Lastly, I want you to know the immense relief and comfort I feel knowing that no matter what happens in this life, you will be there for every other important day. The day I get married, the day Bekah graduates, the day I see my own daughter become a mother. And how many people do you know actually get to say that?

So I walk out of that Wal-mart, cardless, but determined none-the-less to give you just what you deserve. And then I think, well, maybe I already have.

I love you.

Kristi Rufener

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the tribute toots! Hopefully I will have a child to call me mom someday! but I guess yours will have to do for now! lol


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